Starting Over: Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself
“We’d never get anything fixed to suit us if we waited for things to suit us before we started.” – Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have a confession to make. A couple of weeks ago, I almost bid farewell to this little online corner of mine. It was a Tuesday morning when I got the e-mail telling me that my domain was about to expire, along with an updated price as to what it would cost me to keep this space of mine secure for the next three years. And, honestly, I almost let it go. After all, I hadn’t posted anything in months- almost a year in fact! I wrestled with this truth all day and thought that maybe my season for writing had indeed come to an end.
To be completely transparent, it almost felt like a relief to have one less thing weighing on my mind. For though I haven’t publicly written anything for a long time, I can assure you that the fact I’m not writing and sharing deeply bothers me. Because truly my heart is here, and I’m writing internally nearly all the time. It’s just that my words never make it this page, and it feels like a constant defeat. Like I’m continually failing in some way by not doing so.
Letting this space go would have been easier…but I couldn’t let it go in ease.
This is a sacred space for me. It’s a healing space for me. After all, the need to work through and heal from the grief of my miscarriage is the whole reason I started this blog to begin with. Erasing this space would be equal to erasing a piece of my heart that was once so very broken. To wipe this space away would be to wipe away the words that I was actually writing to myself, and trusting that if I needed them, then there was possibly at least one other person out there who needed them too.
And so, I decided to hold on instead.
I can’t promise that I will be consistent here, but I do promise that when I am here- I will give it my all. Because it’s a tough and scary world out there. We are living in a time with such fear and uncertainty, and if we ever needed a safe, beautiful space to visit, it’s now.
This is precisely what I pray you find here…beauty in the midst of bleakness; peace in the midst of panic.
In the meantime, I will take a moment to reintroduce myself and share a bit about life on our farm in hopes to give you a picture as to why I haven’t been around here much lately. The above quote by, Laura Ingalls Wilder, really hit home with me today. For though the timing in my life does not seem at all “fixed to suit” me in writing, I realize that if I keep waiting for the “right time,” I will continue to sweep all my stored up words under the rug. And one day down the road, I will lift that same rug and see all that was there, feeling such regret that I didn’t share my full, God given gift with all of you here.
And so, this is me…starting again.
Without further ado, here’s a little peak into our life and myself in a nutshell…
I’ve been married to my very ambitious, hard working husband for almost 15 years. Together, we live in a tiny farmhouse that was the childhood home of my father. Our farm however, dates back much farther than my father’s time and has been in our family for 105 years. My husband and I have worked tirelessly to revive and restore this sacred land, which is incredibly unique and holds a history lesson of it’s own.
As it turns out, our farm is located on a plot of land here in the bluegrass state that used to be a part of a small town called, Smithville. Along with a close-knit community of homes, the town included a general store, a blacksmith shop, a post office, and a gristmill. The mill, which dates back as far as 1859, remains on our property today. Over the last three years, my husband and I have had the honor of a lifetime in working to restore this monumental building. This project was by far the largest we’ve ever tackled together, but by God’s grace and an enormous amount of patience and prayer, we are in the home stretch of completion.
I am also a mama to our sweet son, whom I’ll often refer to as “Farmer Boy.” I homeschool him full-time and am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to do so.
Along with our restoration efforts and homeschooling, my husband and I also run a seasonal farm stand together. This consists of selling a large selection of beautiful annuals and perennials in the spring, an enormous amount of garden upkeep in the summer, copious amounts of pumpkins and mums in the fall, and lastly, ending the year with Christmas trees, candles, and lots of other decorative items that we make with our own two hands. It probably goes without saying, but running our business takes up approximately 14-15 hours of our day; hence my reason for not being around here so much!
Once our farm stand is closed for the season, we finally get some long overdue downtime. During the early winter months, I mostly become a hobbit and surround myself with antique books, oil lamps, and continual refills of hot coffee and Earl Gray tea.
Lastly, and most importantly, I am a girl who has a heart and passion for Jesus. It is truly only by His strength and grace that I am sustained daily to do what we do. More times than I can count- even today actually, I feel that I am not cut out for this life we live here on the farm. For it constantly demands more and more from me than I could have ever imagined.
But because He who gave us this farm and our story is good and trustworthy, I can rest assured knowing with all my heart that this path He has set us upon must indeed be for my own good.
I pray that in some way you have been encouraged by my words, and that you too will have the courage to start something new today. Or maybe, if you’re like me, to have the courage and determination to begin anew all over again.
I think now is a good place to start.
Abide in Him Always,
Ashley
28 Comments
Charlotte Shelman
I love coming to your farm stand.
Ashley Lemr
Thank you so much for reading and for your continued support. We truly appreciate it!
April Troutman
Thank you for you heart Ashley!
Ashley Lemr
Thank you for reading. You are truly an amazing example of what it looks like to persevere and embrace the path that God has put you on, even though it was one you would have never chosen for yourself. I love you all. God bless you.
Judy Jesse
Your words are comforting and thought provoking. Your journey is inspirational. I hope you find the time to continue sharing!!
Ashley Lemr
Thank you for taking the time out to read this today. I’m humbled and grateful that these written words were a source of comfort for you. God Bless!
Katy McMillen
Really enjoyed reading your post and story about your family . So inspiring! May you and your family be fully blessed with abundance on your little farm. My husband and I enjoy your produce every summer and look forward to it !
Ashley Lemr
Thank you so much for taking the time out to read this today. And, also for the kindness and support you continue to show to our family. God Bless!
Phyllis Hatter
Ashley, until today, I was unaware of a passion we share, self-expression through writing. I am delighted to know that you will be reintroducing yourself through your blog. I look forward to reading your posts via email!
Ashley Lemr
Writing has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I love that we share yet another common interest. I hope you’ll be encouraged while visiting this little on-line corner of mine. God Bless!
Gail Williams
I know how hard you work—owning a business is not for the weak! May Gods continue to bless you and your family!
Ashley Lemr
Thank you for your kindness and encouragement. It is all very hard work, but oh, so worth it. Thank you for your continued support. God Bless!
Gale Rogers
Love stopping by on our way to and from Bardstown. Love seeing all your hard work in transforming the old mill.
Ashley Lemr
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. And also for your support of our farm and family. We truly appreciate it. God Bless.
Chrisy Thompson
Thank you for sharing. Your words are so beautifully written. Reading this made me stop and consider my own life, where I’ve been, where I am and where I’m going. We have a small garden and like to share our produce with our friends. We also do a lot of canning. I have found that to be so fulfilling. I feel like I’m talking a step back in time. God does provide. Bless you and your family.
Ashley Lemr
Thank you so much for taking time to read this today. I’m glad to know you’ve been encouraged, and that in turn, encourages me to continue to persevere as well. May God continue to bless you and your families gardening efforts and the generosity you reflect by sharing with a community of friends.
Madeline
Love your farm and all the work you do for this community. I hope you continue to write!
Ashley Lemr
Thank you so much for taking the time out to read this today, and for the kindness and support you continue to show.
Ron Hennig Sr.
My wife and I look forward to your writings. The encouragement is what we all need. We also look forward to your opening of the veggie stand and love talking to you both. My wife is handicapped and cannot get out of the car when we’re there but loved to just take a moment to talk to you. You are so busy. Please do not stop writing. We love read your words of love.
God Bless you both. This world needs more loving, compassionate people like the two of you.
Ashley Lemr
Thank you so much for your incredibly kind words. We truly appreciate the encouragement and support you and your wife continue to show our family. God Bless you both.
Joey and Brandy Siddens
We love visiting your farm stand. We enjoy the veggies , plants , pumpkins and more that we get there. Talking with you and your husband is always a pleasure too. Following as you write so well an so excited to hear God through you and your journey in life. God bless you and your family and farm.
The renovation really looks amazing on the outside so far!
Ashley Lemr
Thank you so much for taking time out to read this. We truly appreciate all of the support and kindness you continue to show our family. And thank you for the compliments on the mill. It’s been the experience of a lifetime.
Donna Hash
It’s great to see you writing again! You speak from the heart and your words are inspiring. I hope you can find time in your busy life to keep writing. You have a gift with words and your experiences are relatable to so many people. It’s a joy to see a loving family striving to be all that God put them here for, especially in today’s chaotic world. AND the LOTR rocks! Still have my first set I bought in 1976! Pages are yellow and worn with multiple readings but I still bring them out once a year and read them again.
You, Jeff and “Farmer Boy” are what God meant for families to be. It’s a privilege to be able to share your journey with y’all through your writing.
God bless y’all!
Ashley Lemr
Thank you so much, Donna. You are so incredibly kind and supportive and we truly appreciate you. You are such an encouragement to me and those like you are who inspire me to persevere. And I love to hear about your love for literature too! Pages that are worn and yellow are the best! I purposely seek out books that have that worn look and antique smell. It’s the simplest pleasures in life that I find to fill my heart to the fullest. God Bless you, Donna.
Holly
I’m so happy you’re continuing to write! There are many people out there that can benefit from reading your words, I truly believe that. Love you guys!
Ashley Lemr
Thank you, sister. The encouragement means so much to me. You have watched our story unfold from day one and you’re a part of it too. Love you!
Faith Portman
Ashley
You inspire us all to believe in ourselves. I have walked beside in sprit during some of your story. Your story is so precious to my heart and your family I adore. Thank you for sharing and please keep doing so! Thanks
Ashley Lemr
Thank you, Faith. It’s been a pleasure to walk beside you. You have been a part of our story since the early days. We truly appreciate the support and your encouragement here overflows my heart. Thank you and God Bless.